A Few Thoughts on First Looks
I was thinking about this moment that happened back in 2013. I was about a year and a half into my career as a wedding photographer, and about 2 minutes or so before this image happened, Christina said she was going to go see Mike. I had a moment of panic because this was technically their "first look," and I hadn't prepped anybody for it! I hadn't stuck Mike in a corner outside waiting for ages, and I didn't tell Christina "when to go." Mike was in the winery cave where they usually stick the guys in, and Christina started walking down the dark stairs to go see him. When they saw each other, it felt like an ordinary moment, something that happens all the time. A few seconds later she was helping him put his boutonniere on.
All these years later and I'm glad I just followed quietly with my camera.
Sometimes moments that are assumed to be this grandiose moment for photographers and videographers have the couple's own feelings attached to them, and it can range from being very emotional to being just another ordinary moment for them.
Another time with R & A, we were behind schedule and the first look had not happened yet. However, just a few months prior, I had taken wedding portraits for them after they helped each other get dressed. I told the R & A that if this "first look" really didn't matter to them, they didn't have to force it just for the video on the wedding day. They looked visibly relieved.
All this to say, whether you choose to see each other or not before the ceremony, the moment will not be about me. I'm just excited that I get to be invited into the space you choose to carve out for yourselves, whether it feels ordinary, emotional, or somewhere in between.
I’ll use the phrase “first look” synonymously with “seeing each other before the ceremony.”
Vincent and Avery see each other casually at the hotel they both got ready at.
Emma and Michaela got ready in their home in separate rooms so they could do a little reveal.
I'll give guidance when asked about where best to do a first look, and I can help walk one partner to the other one’s location if preferred. I strongly believe that first looks do not need to take place in any specific type of location (like a landmark or picturesque place). Instead, I always prioritize privacy and comfort.
As a wedding photographer since 2012, I am glad that spending time together before the ceremony is now the norm.
People getting married hire me because they want fewer posed photos, more time with their guests, and real, candid moments captured.
A first look lets you get your couples portraits and family group photos done before the ceremony, so that you can go straight to cocktail hour and spend all that precious time among your guests.
Spending time together before the ceremony can be centering, calming, and a big breath of much needed relief before everything starts happening. You get to hold each other. You get to see each other up close. You and your spouse look to each other for comfort, so why wouldn’t you look toward each other on one of the biggest days of your relationship?
Your first look can be arranged in a special way if you’d like, or it can be as simple as opening the door to say hello.
The biggest hesitation I hear of not seeing each other before the ceremony is not wanting to take away from that big moment of seeing your spouse walk down the aisle. That iconic moment. But I promise you, that moment will absolutely not be diluted in any way just because you saw each other’s outfits earlier. When you’re standing up there, among all your guests around you, I promise you it will be its own moment.
However, if you want the tradition of not seeing each other until the ceremony, I wholeheartedly will support you and help you craft a timeline that accommodates requested photos and your priorities.
